Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
