Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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