so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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