I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
