You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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