I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
