Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
party gras won. party gras always wins.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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