Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
