I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
