Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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