Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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