OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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