no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
