I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
