I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
