Your dad touched me again.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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