Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
