Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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