did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
