How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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