Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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