Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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