You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
