Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
