oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Acid is not a monday night drug
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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