Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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