you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
