After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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