He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I love you. Go after that dick
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
