She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
