I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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