My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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