I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
