I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
