I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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