i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
