We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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