Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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