Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
