Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
