I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
it's like heaven, but drunker
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The struggles of a small town man whore
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
