my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
