I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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