It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
