You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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