do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
