google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
