Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Acid is not a monday night drug
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
