i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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