I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
